I have to keep running
by verm of colora
Summary: A story about Squall going on a journey inside himself...... you'll see. Don't worry this is just chapter 1. reviews and e-mail are appreciated, as well as criticism to make future stories better.


- you can never tell -  
  
"just keep running" he told himself.  
  
"just another mile, and you won't have to put up with it again....."  
  
It was dark and raining..... He had always felt so comfortable in the rain. Squall had grown distant over the past couple of days. Zell and Seifer even quit arguing for a minute to observe how much more quiet than often he was; Rinoa was worried. Rinoa..... but that was another story. He had to put up with rookie kids, annoying allies, and most of all, he was afraid... if Rinoa left him. Rinoa had been talking to this friend of hers that made Squall nervous, most of all, because he was a guy.  
  
"I love her though!! I should trust her enough!!"  
  
Squall constantly tried to clear his conscious. It didn't work, for the back of his mind knew what he was really thinking. The memories of pain that he would have to put up with again if he was left again. He would feel loneliness once more. He would be alone...  
  
"alone!! this is nonsense!! I'm always around people!"  
  
He finally made it through the gate and into an abandoned train station. It was about a good 8 miles away from the S.E.E.D. headquarters.  
  
"I'm always around people!! How could I possibly be alone!?!?"  
  
"sometimes, the most lonely place you could ever be is around people."  
  
Squall was shocked. As he drew his gunblade, he looked around and found an old homeless man sitting indian style on a piece of cardboard. He wore a piece of cloth over his eyes, it was more than likely that he was blind.  
  
"..... shut up and find a home old man.........." muttered Squall  
  
"It is not I that needs to find a home. It is you." replied the old man.  
  
"what are you talking about? you don't even know me!! I have a home!!" he yelled.  
  
"oh really" replied the old man. "then where is it? and why aren't you in it during this storm??"  
  
Squall fell silent.  
  
"come, my troubled youth... sit and tell me of the troubles."  
  
Squall took a seat next to the old man. he finally just started letting loose all of his emotions. how if Rinoa left him and he would no longer be needed at S.E.E.D., that he would not be wanted. He really did have a place he could call home, he just lost his way.  
  
the old man sat there for a minute. Squall looked at his face and, even though he couldn't see the eyes, he knew the old man was thinking. he just sat there and thought for five minutes. Finally he uttered "fool"  
  
Squall replied "and why do you say that cochise??"  
  
"A man who really believes that he is worthless IS worthless. It seems to me, that you don't even really know who you are. come now, take some of this tea, it will make you feel better." said the old man.  
  
Squall reluctantly took the cup and drank a bit. "who knows where it's been..." thought squall. Then, his eyes got droopy... he was beginning to doze off... before he knew it, he was asleep.  
  
Birds singing. that's the first thing Squall heard when he woke up. he looked around.... no S.E.E.D. HQ, no rain... He looked down, and realized everything he had to do with his rank was gone.  
  
"Old man!! where the hell is my badge!?!? give it back!"  
  
"I don't have it, troubled one. The tea you drank.... we are in your dreams now my friend. I plan to stay right here."  
  
Squall thought about it. if it's just a dream, why doesn't he just wake up? and what the hell was the old man talking about?  
  
"the only way that you will ever wake up is if you find the answer to this question.; who are you?"  
  
Squall said" I am squall leonhart"  
  
the old man glared at Squall and said "wrong! I ask you again; who are you??"  
  
Squall was getting fed up with the old man.... "What the hell do you know about me anyway??"  
  
the old man replied "Enough to know that you are not who you claim to be. The only way you can ever really know that you exist is through the reactions of others anyway...so go now, if you wish to return with my answer."  
  
Squall started to walk away. then he started jogging. Then he went into a full sprint. He knew what he had to do.....  
  
and so started the journey for squall.... to find himself. 


End file.
